🔋The Invisible Voice Telling You You’re Not Good Enough (ATP#17)

Does this sound familiar?

You’ve done the work. Got the degrees. Achieved great things.

And yet, a voice inside says, “You don’t belong here.”

If so, you’re not alone. You’re probably suffering from imposter thoughts, just like me.

In this newsletter, we’ll cover some helpful tips on how to overcome the invisible boundaries that imposter thoughts build around you.

Imposter thoughts versus imposter syndrome

There’s a lot of conversation online and IRL about “imposter syndrome”. While the term is accepted in a colloquial context, the correct term would be “imposter thoughts” most of the time. Imposter syndrome is a rare condition characterized by overwhelming imposter thoughts that lead to significant suffering and limitations in everyday life.

Some facts about imposter thoughts

The phenomenon is more frequent than you probably think: Around 70% of the population experiences imposter thoughts at some point, especially women. And achieving more things will not necessarily make it go away.

I am no exception: I was one of the best students at my school. I graduated from psychology with top grades. I have a Doctorate. I achieved all this despite coming from a working-class background and being the first in the family to study at the university.

Shouldn’t these and other achievements make me super confident? They should, but they don’t. I often feel I’m not good enough or that I’m inferior to others.

There are strategies that I use and that everybody can implement so that imposter thoughts become less debilitating.

6 tips to overcome your self-doubt

I will present you with 6 actionable tips that have helped me put myself out there. They could help you, too!

Tip 1: Leverage the evidence

Even though your achievements will not automatically make you more confident, you can use them to your advantage. Gather everything in one place: your achievements, positive comments from others, and positive things about yourself that you can highlight.

A picture says more than a thousand words, so make sure to accompany your collection with visuals wherever possible. If you use Notion, I have a free template you can use to collect evidence or any positive affirmation you like (it was my first-ever template, so it’s not beautiful, but it works!).

Revisit your collection often, especially when in doubt about taking a step forward. This helps you internalize your achievements and be more conscious about them.

Tip 2: Set achievable goals

Be realistic about your goals. Set your goals using the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) technique. Write them down and track your progress. Observing your progress systematically will boost your confidence.

Accept that there will be drawbacks and that some things will take longer than estimated. Research shows that we’re not particularly good at estimating how long a task will take, so don’t be harsh on yourself if you take longer than expected.

Tip 3: Crush perfectionism

Imposter thoughts often go together with extreme perfectionism, but you’ll miss out on many opportunities if you wait for everything to be perfect before putting yourself out there. I’ve assumed the mindset that published is better than perfect.

As soon as you believe something is “good enough”, go ahead with it.

If you put yourself out there earlier, you will get valuable feedback earlier, which you can then implement to improve.

Tip 4: Become more independent of what other people say

Meaningful relationships are very important, and other people may be a valuable source of constructive feedback. However, what other people tell you may not always be the truth or an intent to support you.

Be selective about what to consider and what not to from other people.

Have you heard about the Good Life Study? Dr. Robert Waldinger, one of its lead researchers, observed that women in their 80s regretted the most that they had depended too much on what others thought about them.

Make the change now to avoid having the same regrets in your 80s.

Tip 5: Be selective about the content you consume on social media

Scrolling on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or whatever you prefer shows you how happy and perfect everyone is and what a great life they are living. This may make you feel like a failure.

Except, these people and their lives aren’t that perfect. Many post only the positive things, so everything looks fine on the surface. Many also use image filters to look perfect on their photos.

Be aware of this and prefer to nourish your mind with books, spending time with your loved ones and in nature, or learning something new. Use social media sparsely and always remember that reality is not as perfect as these platforms suggest.

Closing my Facebook account a few years ago was such a good decision. It has done wonders for my mental health, and I haven’t regretted it at all.

Tip 6: Accept that your self-doubt will never completely go away

Implementing these strategies should help you become more confident and avoid missing meaningful opportunities in life.

Nevertheless, you should also accept that you cannot eliminate it completely. Having doubts or fearing some situations is normal. It’s part of human nature. In moderation, it can serve as a warning sign, helping you prepare for what’s coming up or prioritize certain things over others.

Embrace the feelings of self-doubt as part of the diversity of human emotions.

Wrapping up

Overcoming imposter thoughts is a journey that requires self-reflection and persistence. By leveraging your achievements, setting achievable goals, embracing imperfection, being selective about feedback from others, limiting social media consumption, and accepting your self-doubt as a part of you that will never completely go away, you can overcome the invisible boundaries it builds around you.

Remember, it’s okay to seek help from a licensed therapist if you feel that your self-doubt is debilitating and makes you suffer.

Embrace your journey to more self-confidence, and remember:

If this edition inspired you to put yourself out there more, you can buy me a coffee here. ☕ That’s how I keep this newsletter free.

Until next time!

Best wishes,

Patricia (Dr. Schmidt) from creatorschmidt.com.